You Are My Portion

For the past three weeks, our Pastor has been in a series he named "Imagine". It has been so good and I have gained so much from the three sermons. However, yesterday was my God Moment. It was one of those times when it all comes together and you know that you know that you know "I got it".

Here are some of the lines we hear daily now:

"In today's economy . . . "

"The stock market went down . . . the stock market went up . . . "

"More people have lost their jobs . . . "

"Big Retail Store Chain closes it's doors"

and so it goes . . . . .

I am a self-employed Hair Stylist. My business has suffered greatly. People are going longer between colors and haircuts. Some have felt that hair is not a priority. I understand all this because I, too, have made changes. My taxes have gone up, my lease is high, my supplies are getting higher every time I order, etc.

My brother in law gave me a brilliant and inspired idea one time and I have used it with the formula God gave me. Daniel told me to begin a referral program. Referrals typically mirror who referred them and so you end up with a "like minded" clientele. We decided that I should give a discount to the one referred on their first visit and then give a discount to the one who gave the referral on their next visit. I began to pray about this and I believe God gave me the formula -- I know He did. It HAD to be 10%. So, the referral got 10% off, the referree got 10% off and I tithed 10%. It was like tithing 30%. Who can outgive God?

Well, this really seemed to help and I loved the principles of it and even shared with my clientele -- new and established clientele. The economy changed, stock market crashed, election, change, change, change, fear, fear, fear . . . . Everything changed!

I thought I had began to pray but really I think I was just "complaining" and "whining" to God. James and I agreed at the very beginning of "my business" 7 years ago, it had to sustain itself. James had told me that I cannot pull monies from household finances. So, for 7 years, I have never had to go to James and say, "I can't pay my taxes or my lease." I give God the praise for that. I still give God the praise for that.

So, since October, probably about a week before the elections, everything changed for my business. It seemed to be a struggle every week. I had moved my business to Burleson from an area in Fort Worth just over two years ago. I attributed some of the loss to the move and people not wanting to use extra gas. However, I had picked up new clients from the Burleson area. So, why was I struggling so much?

Yesterday, at the end of the service, Pastor asked us to get out our wallets. Being the obedient Saint that I am (don't laugh -- about the "obedient" part anyway), I got out my wallet. He asked us to get out whatever money we had. I really thought he was going to tell us to give whatever we had. I had 2 $1 bills. He instructed us to check our neighbors and if they needed something to hold, give them a dollar. I looked over to give my daughter in law a dollar and was going to look for change for my grandson. They were each holding a debit card so I kept my 2 dollars. He asked us to look at it and commit it to God. It is God's money. He is just letting me use it. Everything I have is God's and I am to ask Him what to do with it. I looked at my 2 dollar bills and I saw "my business" right there in my hands. It's not my business -- it's God's business. God spoke to me so clearly something that had been in the recesses of my mind all week. WHY did I get into this business to begin with? Eight years ago, God spoke to me that He was taking my ministry outside the 4 walls of the church. I had no idea what that meant. I knew I didn't want to go to Africa and I knew I did not feel called to street ministry. I went back and forth with God: "but I sing", "but I teach", "but I speak" . . . God was silent.

My business is God's business and it is NOT a business -- it is THE ministry outside the 4 walls of the church He called me to. Trust me, I do not preach at you when you are in my chair. Sometimes I just listen to you, pray for you, pray with you, touch you, love you, be awakened in the night to pray for you, and, sometimes we just laugh. I am blessed to be with some of the most precious young women I could ever hope to work with. My clients love them as much as they love me. These young women minister to me and teach me. They love me and I feel their love. God placed me with them for a reason. My clients are more than paying customers, they are my friends -- I have a relationship with them. THAT is what God called me to do with my life "for such a time as this".

My friend and Mentor, Victoria, told me once when I was complaining about too many midnight hour experiences; "Karen, embrace the midnight hour because at the midnight hour you KNOW it is God. That is when He truly becomes Jehovah Jireh, YOUR Provider, because no one else can provide. Embrace them because when you stop having them you will miss them.". (Hmmmmm and a heavy sigh.) I did not understand it at all and I thought "Well, now that's an encouraging Word" (dripping with sarcasm and confusion).

I have, indeed, missed the midnight hour. He is giving them to me again and I will embrace them. I will know that it is God who is my Provider. It is NOT man. Economy cannot hold back the goodness of God and His provision. HE IS MY PORTION.

So, as I held my two dollars and Pastor prayed over us, I truly released everything I have and will have, to God. It was a God Moment that will forever change my life and my stinking thinking. I will forever keep these two dollar bills to remind me that it is God's money and I am to do with it as He instructs. (That is, of course, unless God instructs me to GIVE these two dollars bills to someone.)

"Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank You today, that I will no longer fret and worry. You have redeemed me by the precious blood of Jesus. It is YOU that comes through for me at the midnight hour. You are my "AND SUDDENLY". You have made me a royal Priesthood. You have called me into Your marvelous light. You have set me apart and called me to do Your Works. I will answer Your call and I will commit it all to You to do with it as You will. You are the Lifter of my Head and the Lover of my soul. My righteousness is in You and the righteous will never be forsaken and my children will never beg for bread. The blessing You have placed on me will be for my children and my children's children. Bless them as You have me. Teach them stewardship as You have me. Teach them that all they have is Yours. Lord, bless my readers today and give them hope. Our hope is in You and only You. You are our reward. Bless me that I may bless. Teach me that I may teach. Love me that I may love. Today, I know for sure, YOU ARE MY PORTION. Amen."

Psalm 119:57 (NIV)

You are my portion, O Lord; I have promised to obey Your words.

You Have Yet to Claim

I do not know about you, but I hate it when I get one of those emails that says for me to forward to 12 people in the next 5 minutes and either something good will happen to me and, basically, if I do not, then I am going to hell. Well, I got one today that said to send it to TWO people -- OK, that's random. I have to tell you that as I read the email I was truly moved. So . . . . hopefully at least of two of you will read this.

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He is not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Concentrate on this sentence . . . .
'The will of God Will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'.

Something good WILL happen to you today not because you forward an email to 2 or 12 people. Something good has ALREADY happened to you. You are breathing, therefore, you have opportunity at your disposal. We are so blessed and yet we worry about "today's economy". We have forgotten we are children of God, the one true God. He cannot lie -- He will not lie. He said He would never leave us and He will never forsake us.

Get out of your box and do something you have never done. GIVE to someone. SPEAK to someone. Whatever it is -- do it and you WILL get something different. His Word says that He is the Rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Seek Him today and you will find Him. Ask God to direct your feet, and your path, and He will send you on a "mission" for Him today.

I do not like to hear someone say that God took a loved one from them. I always think, "no, God RECEIVED them". See, if we are in Christ Jesus, we have the promise of eternal life. He is not taking from you, He is preparing You for something greater He wants to give you. Your hands need to be emptied and purged so He can fill them. The Grace of God is there to protect you as You carry out the Will of God.

You do not have to send this to anyone. The only thing you are required to do is what we were commissioned to do:

Go into all the world

and preach the good news to all creation.

Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved,

but whoever does not believe will be condemned.

Mark 16:15&16 NIV

The email stated that if I sent the above to 2 people then someone would either call me or speak to me about something I was waiting to hear. Well, I am waiting to hear from Discount Tires about our recall on the new tires for our RV. That is not why I have blogged this. You see, I believe I know the voice of God and if He chooses to send someone my way, then it will be ONLY to confirm what He has already spoken to me. We must always remember that His Ways are not ours and His thoughts are not ours. Thousands of years in heaven will be as only a moment, so I know His timing is different from what I think based on "my way of timing".

Enjoy God today in His fullness. Take everything He has promised you. He has promised that He will NEVER leave you. Is that not enough to sustain you today? If not, read the Word of God because there are so many promises you have yet to claim.

Fishin' On the Fourth

Went to visit friends for the Holiday weekend. We had such a good time. This was the most fun I have ever had fishing. Yes, I touched them and even helped clean them.

There is nothing like spending time with friends and just laughing and having a good time. This was a great weekend and one we really needed. We even managed to take some naps.

Let Me Sing To You

Now that I use Face Book, I have noticed that people get up very early and begin posting. It is so interesting how many times I see these words, "I can't sleep" or "I couldn't sleep" or "I want to be asleep but I'm awake ---everyone else is asleep". We have all gone through times of restlessness and times when sleep just will not come. If sleeps comes, it does not stay long. After a few days of this, we begin to feel run down. Our bodies and our brains need sleep.

I believe (and you probably do as well) God wakes us up for a reason. This scripture comes to mind this morning as I am awake and have been for hours.

It is good to praise the Lord and make music to Your name, O Most High, to proclaim Your love in the morning and your faithfulness at night. Psalm 92:1&2 (NIV)

So, when we wake up and we do not want to be awake, just maybe the Lord would like us to sing and praise His name. You do not have to sing so loud that you wake others in your household. (Some cannot sing and only God would enjoy it anyway.)

Lord, I pray that You speak to me in my sleep. Give me dreams and visions of You and Your plan for my day, for my life. Teach me Your ways, O Lord, that I may walk in them. As You are a light for my path, let me be a light for those who are in my realm of influence. When I awake, let Your Word be fresh and let it speak to me. Renew me. Refresh me. Restore me. Show me resources I thought to be barren. Daily give me fresh oil of Your anointing in my life. Let there be a song of praise always on my lips and forever in my heart. I give You praise not for what You have done but for WHO You are. You are the lifter of my head and the lover of my soul. You bless me going in and going out. You have made me above only and not beneath. You bless me daily with provision and health. My seed is blessed because You have promised the blessing. You are not a man that You should lie -- Your Word is yes, and amen. I am blessed of You and I am highly favored. Your Word teaches me that even man shall give unto me and that it will be in good measure, pressed down and shaken together. I receive Your blessing so that I may bless others. Lord, I thank You that I lay down, sleep AND awake, because YOU sustain me. You are a Shield for me. You are the glory and the lifter of my head. Your name is a strong tower that I can run into and be safe. Thank You, Lord, for awaking me today with a song of praise for You. Lord, let me sing to You. Amen

The Story of Jesus

Yesterday was an amazing day for me. James and I tend to get in a rut of when and where we do things, such as the service on Sunday we attend, camping spots we love, and . . . well, maybe those are our only ruts. James' mother has been ill and in the hospital. We needed to make a trip to see her. She lives about an hour away. We also needed to get back home with plenty of daylight so James and our son, Joshua, could finish our "fence" project. We chose to go to the early service so we could have an early start on other plans.


Christ Church has three services on Sunday. The first service is TRADITIONAL, the second service is CONTEMPORARY and the third is THE EDGE, which is targeted for the younger crowd. Our Pastor ministers in all three services (I do not know how he does it). Our Music Minister is involved in all three as well. I think it must be harder for him than anyone because he has to plan the music in three different settings while complimenting and enhancing the same sermon and topic.

I invite you to listen to Podcasts. If you are not attending a church presently, Christ Church is a great one to visit. Please refer to Christ Church website. www.christchurch-ag.org



James and I are typically second service attendees and we are on the Prayer Ministry Team no matter what service we are in. When I suggested to James that we go to the first service he thought it was a great idea. It starts at 8:30 AM. I began Saturday evening anticipating a really good service. And, I've found out through the years, when you expect something from God, He always delivers. I went expecting. We were greeted early by our Pastor, who always has a few digs for me (even from the pulpit) and praises for James who has to put up with me. He never offends me. Number 1: I always get him back, and Number 2, I think he must like me and knows I can take the teasing. James is always happy to help Pastor with his ribbing of me.


The Service began with an elderly member reading a passage of scripture. As he read it, I remember thinking, "He has lived long enough to see scriptures and prophecies come to fruition. He has seen hard times and he has seen the blessings of God and the faithfulness of God.".


Our Music Pastor began with the following song list. While there are no hymnals -- none are needed, these people KNOW these songs.


Leaning On The Everlasting Arms
Tell Me the Story of Jesus
I Love to Tell the Story
I Will Sing the Wondrous Story


I felt enveloped in Praise and Worship. Everyone was singing around me. I heard some of the most melodious voices and I saw uplifted hands and tears streaming. I was suddenly a little girl again trying to figure out what "part" I could sing best and the loudest. I was that little girl who grew up knowing I could lean on His everlasting arms, the little girl who knew and still knows the story of Jesus,and still loves to tell it and sing about it -- it truly is a wondrous story. I was the little girl who had no cares in her life. I was the little girl who grew up only too soon to discover the only thing that would sustained me through years of heart ache were messages I learned from these type songs.


As the fourth song concluded, the Prayer Team was called down to minister and pray for those who were in need. There is always so many needs and so many different types of need: financial, healing, restoration, provision, peace and many more. For whatever reason, no one came to James and I for prayer. We stood there, waiting, and yet no one came. I now know why. A precious elderly gentleman stepped up to the microphone and began to sing: "The Longer I Serve Him". At this point, I did not want anyone to come to me -- I just wanted to lay back against Jesus and listen to the words of this song. The man sang words that went something like "the longer I serve Him the more I trust him". I thought to myself that this man had a lived a long life and had served God through good times and bad, he may have even walked away from God at a time in his life, but he still knew he could trust Him. I became that little girl again when innocence was all I knew and would have never understood that song, however I would have known every word of it.


As we returned to our places, Pastor Steve began to sing Andrea Crouch's song that is my favorite: Through It All. He even sang my favorite verse.


I thank God for the mountains
And I thank Him for the valleys
And I thank Him for every trial He's brought me through
For if I never had a problem
How would I know that God could solve them
I wouldn't know what faith in God could do


and then the chorus


Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to trust in Jesus
I've learned to trust in God
Through it all
Through it all
I've learned to depend upon His Word


My heart was full -- so full I was ready to leave. I did not think I could take anymore. I had emotions running so deep.


Aah, but I stayed.


Pastor has been preaching a series on NOTHING IS TOO HARD FOR GOD. It was the third in the series: 1st: Understanding Forgiveness 2nd: No Financial Need Is to Large and the 3rd: NO FEAR IS TOO GREAT


Pastor had asked us on Face Book earlier in the week what our greatest fears were. I had responded but I was really more touched and moved by what others feared. None of us are really very different when it comes to fear. We all have them. He taught us that fear will distract us, fear will intimidate us and fear always exaggerates and causes us to have that "grasshopper mentality" (see Numbers 13:30-33 NIV). He encouraged us to adjust our focus, build our faith and control our fears. I remember wondering, "What does Pastor fear?" He is human, he must have fears. I know He does but He uses The Word of God, just as He instructed us. I'll not print out every scripture but I will give to you to look up and read:


Adjust your focus: read Psalm 121-1-2
Build your faith: read Romans 10:17 and Proverbs 3:25-26
CONTROL your fear: Read 2 Timothy 1:17 (He used the NIV which says "self-discipline", KJV says "sound mind")


He taught so well on self-discipline and that we have a choice. I really get that and I like that.


Pastor asked us to read and memorize Isaiah 43:1-3 (NIV)

Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rives, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."





Thank You, Lord, that I have a memory for words in songs.


Now, I am not that little girl so full of innocence. I am a woman of God because God sustained me through the years and the longer I serve Him the more I can trust Him. He gave me my innocence back and restored my life. I was never alone. How beautiful it was to be surrounded by older people (at least older than me) that had seen "LIFE" and its struggles and yet here they were, singing and praises a God who had never failed them.

Oh, my Precious Lord, I thank You today for Your everlasting arms that I can lean on and You hold me tight in them. I thank You for Your wondrous story. Truly, the longer I serve You the more I know I can trust You. My life has been innocent, my life has been in ruin, my life is now a Godly life knowing well that through all of it I could trust You. I thank You, My Lord, that I truly know the story of Jesus. Amen.

The Shelf

I have been told more than once and BY more than one person that I live in denial. I really do not. I am not a confrontational person. I once explained it to someone this way: I just move stuff around the stove. Funny that I would use this analogy since I rarely use a stove. I have things that I just have to put on the back burner. I never deny that it is there. I may have something else on the front burner AND, there are times when all the burners are full and I just do not have another one -- I will stick that one in the oven. Eventually, when I am ready and the time is right I move it up to the front and the funny thing is, I usually wonder why I kept it back there so long. Is it because time really does heal? Probably. I have also referred to this as my Scarlett O'Hara approach to life. My two favorite parts in the movie are when she says, "I'll think about that tomorrow" and "As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again.". Scarlett was not strong enough THAT day to deal with it. She would deal with it tomorrow. Somehow fresh sunlight brings renewal and strength.





My Pastor preached a wonderful sermon today and I enjoyed all of it because I identified with it so well. At the end, Pastor asked everyone to close their eyes and bow their heads. Then he asked if there were things in our lives that we really need to give to God. I cannot remember his exact words. He then asked those who raised their hands to come to the front and said he wanted to pray for them. I watched as my daughter in law and my grandson went hand-in-hand down the isle. I thought of how hard it must be for her to be so far from her family and have those 3 precious kids. I began to bless her in my heart. I thought of how much I love her and how much I wish I could change things for her. Some things are just bigger than she is. If I love her that much, how much more does God love her. I felt such love for her. I wanted to just follow her, wrap my arms around her and tell "everything is going to be ok." I knew it was not what I need to do -- but oh how I wanted to. I stood in place between my son and my husband and thought "aaaah, this feels so good". As Pastor was praying I was reminded of my "stove stuff" and the occasional "oven stuff". I often say that I am going to lay it at the feet of Jesus. And yet, sometimes I take it back or I can just see it lying there. My mind wanders and I think of when I am standing at the feet of Jesus, will all my grief and sin be there visible? My prayer is that the crown I lay at His feet will cover my sin and my grief. The "feet of Jesus" always tugs at my heart. We had sang earlier about the feet of Jesus: ". . .sit at Your feet, lay back against you and feel your heart beat. It's overwhelming.". Pastor then asked those who had gathered around the front to close their eyes and imagine themselves in a room. There is nothing in this room but you and a shelf on the wall. A shelf that is secure and will not fall. He then told them to take their pain, sorrow, sickness, broken relationships, etc. and put them on this shelf. That shelf belongs to God and you do not need to carry it any longer -- it's bigger than you. God will take care of everything you put on the shelf.





Hmmmmmm! I think I need to turn some burners off. I think I need that shelf.





Father God, in the name of Jesus, I ask You to take the things in my life that I struggle with. Your Word teaches me that everything that concerns me You will perfect. Your Word instructs me that the battle is not mine but it is Yours. There are things in my life that are too big for me. I cannot fix them. I have left them on the back burner too long. I need to put them on the shelf, YOUR SHELF, Oh Lord. Amen

As I am a visual person, I needed to do this symbolically. I found a sturdy shelf in my home. I got a box out that someone had given me as a gift. I placed 3 hand written notes in my box and placed it on the shelf. I can't see them -- they are in God's shelf now. God will be faithful to complete what He has started. I may add to the box but I will not take from the box on the shelf.

It's A New Season

I look back and know that all my life I have gone through seasons. Some seasons are just a "breeze". You go right through it and all is well. Other seasons -- well, not so much.

I have been in a season in my life (since Christmas) that has been very difficult for me. I had shoulder surgery that I was dreading. It turned out great but the anticipation of it was hard for me. God has been with me through this season. It was a season of spiritual warfare as I have never had. It was a season of standing down when I wanted to stand up. It was a season of saying, "OK, God, I get it. You want me to take my hands off of it, so YOU can put Your hands, Your touch, Your healing, on it.

I am thankful that I do have a teachable spirit. I do listen to the voice of God and I KNOW the voice of God when I hear it. This season, He spoke so clearly to me that I need to STAND DOWN. Standing down to me means that I've done all I know to do. I armed for battle and I am waiting for my Commander to sound the alarm. It did not happen when I wanted to and it did not happen anything like I thought it would.


But, now, it is a new season. I've written about this song before but I believe we can all relate to it.



IT'S A NEW SEASON

IT'S A NEW DAY

A FRESH ANOINTING IS FLOWING MY WAY

A SEASON OF POWER AND PROSPERITY

IT'S A NEW SEASON COMING TO ME



Right before Christmas, a precious lady called the salon and asked for me. When I came to the phone she identified herself and she began to tell me how she had been praying that morning and my face came to her and she began to pray for me. I had met this woman and seen her but we had never had conversations about anything in particular. It was a casual relationship. So, I thought it was neat that God had laid me on her heart to pray for me and when she told me what God spoke to her, I was just amazed. She told me that God told her to tell me to get ready because He is about to bless me in a way I cannot imagine. I told her I received it and I would give her a good report.



I called James and told him. He said, "Baby, it may not be monetary." I said, "I know, I hope it's about my . . . . . . . " (very personal). He agreed with me and we began praying for that very thing.



It was my birthday yesterday and I received the best birthday present of all. An amazing prayer was answered and it was SO God. It was exactly what I felt like my blessing was going to be. I no longer have to STAND DOWN and I do not even have to go into battle. God fought the battle for me. It is done. I shall always hold my Sword but I know He goes before me and makes clear the way for me. I am armed at all times but even soldiers get weary and their weapons weigh them down.



I shared this not too long ago in my blog, LET GOD BE GOD, from Habakkuk 3. See, even when there are no sheep in the field, no cattle in the stalls, no fruit on the trees, and no grapes on the vine -- HE IS STILL GOD and He is worthy of all my praise.

Lord, I thank You , for a new season. I thank You that You hear every prayer and You answer in Your time and in Your way. I give You all the glory and all the praise. I know You are in control. I know You are not finished with THIS blessing -- this is a blessing that will render a bumper crop because it has only begun. I love You, Lord, with all my heart. Amen


It's a new season. I'm dressed for it.

Disneyland

I am 50 years old and I had never been to Disneyland or Disneyworld. I used to get them mixed up but now I know Disneyland is in California and Disneyworld is in Florida.

As you can see I have a pretty little sling on. I had shoulder surgery on the 29th of January. James had a business trip to go to California. It just so happened that my niece lives very close to where he had to go. I was excited that I got to go. I had to take it easy with my shoulder but we enjoyed ourselves so much. Chass took me shopping to some really neat places and Scott went with James to take care of his business. The rest of the time for James was play time.

Saturday they took us to Disneyland. I was more excited than the kids. It was rainy and California people thought it was cold so it kept the lines pretty short. The longest we ever had to stand in line was 30 minutes. And yes, I even rode Space Mountain. Everyone just packed me in and protected my shoulder. Donald Duck is our very favorite Disney character and we saw him almost immediately. I knew the day was going to be good.

Sunday we spent most of the day in airports and planes coming home. Last Monday and Tuesday I don't think I ever got dressed -- I was so tired.

Thanks to Chass and Scott, and of course, Jadyn and Mason, for showing us a great time and being such great hosts.

I AM STILL AROUND

I hope you didn't think I had fallen off the face of the earth. I am still here.

I had shoulder surgery on January 29th. This is my first day without James. He has really taken great care of me. You can't imagine the things I have NOT been able to do without my right arm.

I appreciate everyone's prayers, gifts, etc. I have had an outpouring of love and I thank all of you for that.

I can only do a little at a time right now. I managed to get a load of clothes in the washer and I should be able to get them in the dryer but then what?

Have a blessed day and hang with me -- I'll write more later.

Thirty Eight Plus Years

I recently signed up with Facebook. I am having a blast. The above picture is one of a dear friend that I had not seen in (we think) 38 years. This is Lana. We came together on Facebook. If you have never tried it, it can be lots of fun. You know my first name is Karen and if you know my maiden name and my last name now, you can find me.

My daughter, Amanda (Mandi) got me started on this and then I found out my son, Joshua and his wife, Desiree, are on there too.

It is an amazing way of keeping up with great friends and finding friends you thought you would never see again.

I am a Hair Stylist. Lana drove MANY miles to come to my salon and I did her hair. We had so much fun. I did all the work and she just sat there, but it was so wonderful. I caught up on all kinds of people.

Facebook is a blast!

Zekey Zoomba

Happy Birthday, my precious boy!

Ezekiel Walter

MiMi loves you so much!

Officially Lost All My Marbles

As most of you know, in August I began Weight Watchers. I began with determination that "this TIME I'm going to DO IT". My best inspiration was my friend, Lory, who has lost 50+ lbs and is not needing to lose another ounce. (Ounces count.)

Lory did this cool thing. She had two jars. She started out with what her goal was -- that many marbles in one jar and as she lost lbs she would transfer a marble to the other jar. I liked her idea and I thought it would be fun. I went to the dollar section at Target (sometimes I never make it past that section). I found plastic martini glasses. I bought a purple one (my favorite color) and a green one (I love the two together). I had already started my weight by then so I put the marbles for the ones I need to lose in the green martini glass. I put the marbles representing the ones I HAD lost already in the purple one (my favorite color and martini glass).

As of yesterday, the green martini glass is empty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! James was out of town and I sent him a text for him on his way home from the airport. I told him I had a surprise for him when he got home. I wrapped up the green martini glass and put it in a gift bag for him. He is my biggest fan. He has been a big supporter (pardon the pun) and is always cheering me on. He told me once that he would love me even if I weighed 350 lbs but he would probably not take me anywhere. :) He is soooo funny!

By the way, the martini glasses have no significance other than they were $1 each and they happened to be colors I like.

So, I have officially lost all my marbles!

Joshua and Josiah

29 years ago, today, I gave birth to Joshua Shayne Livingston.

6 years ago, today, my daughter, Amanda, gave birth to Josiah Wilson Hayes.

Happy Birthday Josh! I love you.

Happy Birthday Josiah! MiMi loves you.

LET GOD BE GOD

Prayer changes everything. I have adopted a new way of doing things. There is no way we can go through life without being offended and without offending. I believe what God wants me to do is pray instead of confronting. Confrontation is just that -- it leads to arguing and people saying things that should never be said. Once words are out there, it is hard to forget them.

Our Pastor has challenged our congregation to a month of fasting and prayer. There is no way you cannot get closer to God when you combine the two -- prayer and fasting. I love Matthew 17. Jesus rebuked the devil from a child. The disciples had tried and failed. When they saw what Jesus did they asked Him how He could do that but they could not. Jesus said, "Howbeit this kind goeth out but by prayer and fasting." (That is KJV -- Matthew 17:21. You will not find that scripture in NIV). So, there must be power in the combination.

Saturday I was at one of the lowest times in my life. My marriage is wonderful, and there are no problems there, but there are other areas I cannot seem to conquer. One precious lady gave me this: Habakkuk 3. She wrote it down in a song that she had composed in years past when she was going through much the same thing as I am at this time. She gave it to me. I will keep this in my Bible forever and I will read it often. Basically, the song (based entirely on scripture) says this: Although there are no figs on the trees, the vineyards are bare, no sheep in the field and no cattle in the stalls -- HE IS STILL LORD OF ALL.

I cannot tell you how this ministered to me. When everything is crashing in all around you and you are consumed with fear, doubt, shame and guilt, you can know that GOD IS STILL GOD. He's not a baby in a manger or the Jesus on the cross. He is God on His throne. He is our sovereign Lord. He is my strength and He will cause me to walk in high places.

In Romans 4, we read about Abraham being justified by his faith. I love verse 17.
(As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations,) before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead, and calleth those things which be not as though they were.

When I got the "song" from this lady, I came home to read it in the Word. At the end of Habakkuk 3 I had underlined the last two scriptures and had written this prayer. Judging by the pen it was written in, I believe I wrote this about 4 years prior to this day.

Lord, help me to remember that You are always with me - - I am never alone. You are my strength. You are my provision. I will praise You and rejoice in You. I will take joy in You and bless Your name. Everything I have You give me. Everything I am You make me. Without You I am nothing and I have nothing. It's all about YOU. You are my joy, my peace, my comfort, my everything.

Sometimes God takes us full circle, doesn't He? I know that from this day forward, I will remember this: It doesn't matter what it looks like around me, God is still there. I do not have to have fruit on the tree to know that God is still there and God is still working to accomplish what HE wants to accomplish. I truly have to let go and LET GOD BE GOD.

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

Well, folks, here we are in 2009. I cannot tell you that I began this year with everything just perfect. But I have begun this year with my face looking up to God for divine direction.

As you know, I've been on Weight Watchers since August and I have only 3 lbs to go to be at goal. So, at least THIS year that is not on my list of things I have to do.

However, there is an area in my life that is out of order and God has taken over the situation. God and my new Counselor. I am giving it up. I cannot fix it and I cannot handle it. It feels good to get some help and knowing that she is a Christian is a real blessing. She is close to my age so she understands the whole hormonal thing too. She counsels me with The Word of God. You cannot ask for more. I am also very blessed with a Godly husband that supports me. He definitely has my back and my heart trusts him with my life. Thank You, Jesus, for my James.

This morning I have been on facebook and I've been on emails with friends and loved ones. I have said this a few times so I thought I would share it with you. This year I am going to "call things that are not as though they are". I am going to begin to look at things through my spirit eyes. When I see it in the spirit realm I believe God will manifest it in the flesh. My motto is this: Everything will be FINE in 2009! I believe that is today's language for this:

It is well with my soul.

Weapon of Mass Destruction

It's almost over. Yep! 2008 is just about gone and I don't know where it went. It causes me to reflect. What did I do wrong? What could I have done instead? Who did I miss? What did I miss? Did I do enough? Did I do too much? Did I say enough? Did I say too much? Did I love enough? Did I love too much? Did I pray enough? I know I didn't pray too much? Did I spend enough time in the Word?

To almost all of the questions my answer is "I do not know". The only ones I know the answer to for sure is that I did not pray enough and I did not spend enough time in God's Word.

Every year at this time we begin to resolve what we need to change for the upcoming year. There have been many changes in my life in 2008. For one thing, I turned 50. I am so OK with being 50. I am happy where I am but I am not happy where people in my life are. What can I do to change that? Can I even change it? I have reached my resolution: Let go and let God. I must take my hands off the things that God has to do. The only help He needs from me is for me to do just that: Let go!

Letting go is painful. As a mother, no matter the age of your children, you think it's all your fault if things are not good for them. You, as a mother, want to fix them and make them happy. So, why is it that I don't think my Heavenly Father wants to do the same for me?

November and December have been particularly hard for me. I made a commitment to do something. I stood strong. I did exactly what I commited to God that I would do. The very thing I have "given to God" is causing me pain. What is He birthing in me? What is He changing in me?

God has given me His Word today. It may be JUST for me but I believe someone reading this needs this too:

2 Cor 10:3 - 6 (NIV)
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

In Nehemiah 4, it talks about the opposition of the rebuilding. In verse 17 it says this: Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked. Back in chapter 2 we learn that Nehemiah knew the hand of his God was good and it was upon him (verse 18). Later in the verse "they strengthened their hands for this good work".

Sometimes I do not feel that my hands have enough strength to hold the weapon, to hold my sword, not to mention USE them. Where does my strength come from? I know the answer to that one. It brings me to my favorite scripture in Nehemiah.

Nehemiah 8:10: . . . for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Oh, my precious Lord, give me YOUR joy that I may stand strong. Give me strength to hold a weapon in one hand and work with the other. Help me to build that wall, with YOU as the Contractor. I know the weapons You give me are divine and they will demolish strongholds. Lord, take captive all my thoughts that they would be obedient to You. Let my obedience be complete in You.

I am reminded of a story I have heard and even used in past blogs. It is time for YOUR participation. Say "happy". You just feel that word in your mouth. Say "JOY". Did you feel it? It comes from a deeper place. Do it again. HAPPY. . .JOY. Happy is superficial. It happens in the moment and is fleeting. JOY comes from deep within and you have it even when you are not happy. I am done with superficial. I want JOY. I want HIS JOY.

I believe the Lord has equipped us with weapons of mass destruction. We know exactly where they are even if George W. never found them. The weapon of mass destruction is HIS JOY. I can build that wall. I can have strong hands. I can demolish strongholds and take captive my thoughts.

2009 will be quite different for me. I am trading my sorrows, I am trading my pain. I am trading my sickness and my shame. I will lay them down for the JOY OF THE LORD because that is my weapon of mass destruction.

RAN THE ROCK

This was the TEAM. PawPaw, MiMi, Josiah, Ava Beth and Ezekiel, although Zekey doesn't look like he is a TEAM player in this pic.

Yesterday was the big marathon in Dallas. I wish you all could have seen James and I trying to pick out Mandi and Jeremy in the thousands. We found Mandi -- I watched for her cool hair. We saw her about 1/2 way and then we rushed back to American Airlines Center to see if we could see her cross the finish line. Didn't happen. It is sort of tough keeping up with 2 marathoners and 3 children, 1 of which has his own little marathon if you let him go for a second. Zeke cried for his momma as she ran past. Ava Beth kept saying, "I wanna see my daddy". Josiah said, "Daddy is slow, but my mommy runs fastest."

I was happy to be part of this and be there for them. I am so proud ---- they really did it -- they RAN THE ROCK.

YOU DID IT

I am so proud of y'all. You finished your first 1/2 marathon. Although Jeremy says it is his LAST one as well. Somehow, I don't think so. Once the soreness goes away, you'll want to do it again.

Finish Line

If you also follow my daughter's blog, you will know that this weekend she runs her first 1/2 marathon at White Rock Lake - Run The Rock. Jeremy is running as well. However, Jeremy's training has not been as intense as Mandi's. Actually, Jeremy has had a couple of really BAD experiences during his practice runs that really stunk! That is his story and if he wants to tell it he can.

Mandi has been training for a while. When she first told me she was taking up running I thought it would be a passing thing. I mean, how could she possibly do that with a home of 3 children, all just barely 2 years apart. Well, she managed, in between laundry, cooking, homeschooling, diapers, not to mention the husband, church leadership, and so on.

I am so proud of her. James and I will be at the finish line with her three precious children -- all of us dressed in blue "TEAM ______ " shirts (last name protected). I am proud of her for many reasons. She now knows that she IS a finisher, not a quitter. She is in awesome shape and she looks wonderful -- never better. In fact, if people from her Junior High and High Schools years saw her, they would probably not believe their eyes. All of that is great but what I am most proud of is how she has changed spiritually. I would imagine each part of her training took a lot of prayer. Her prayer time of asking turned into prayer time of listening. God spoke to her heart and to her spirit so many times. She has shared with me how she would end her run with sobs of joy over what God had spoken into her spirit.

We are all running a race. Heaven is our finish line. I can't wait to see the face of Jesus when I cross that line and hear all of Heaven applauding my entrance.

New Computer

I have been away for a little while because my computer locked up on me. I now have a new one. I have lots of pics to share but I have to learn how to do it with the new set up.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful December so far. It is cold in Texas!

Pics to come soon.

Hope to get some good ones Sunday. Jeremy and Mandi are running the 1/2 marathon at White Rock (Run the Rock) Sunday. James and I have our "TEAM" shirts made up and the kids will be with us with their shirts on.