You Are My Portion

For the past three weeks, our Pastor has been in a series he named "Imagine". It has been so good and I have gained so much from the three sermons. However, yesterday was my God Moment. It was one of those times when it all comes together and you know that you know that you know "I got it".

Here are some of the lines we hear daily now:

"In today's economy . . . "

"The stock market went down . . . the stock market went up . . . "

"More people have lost their jobs . . . "

"Big Retail Store Chain closes it's doors"

and so it goes . . . . .

I am a self-employed Hair Stylist. My business has suffered greatly. People are going longer between colors and haircuts. Some have felt that hair is not a priority. I understand all this because I, too, have made changes. My taxes have gone up, my lease is high, my supplies are getting higher every time I order, etc.

My brother in law gave me a brilliant and inspired idea one time and I have used it with the formula God gave me. Daniel told me to begin a referral program. Referrals typically mirror who referred them and so you end up with a "like minded" clientele. We decided that I should give a discount to the one referred on their first visit and then give a discount to the one who gave the referral on their next visit. I began to pray about this and I believe God gave me the formula -- I know He did. It HAD to be 10%. So, the referral got 10% off, the referree got 10% off and I tithed 10%. It was like tithing 30%. Who can outgive God?

Well, this really seemed to help and I loved the principles of it and even shared with my clientele -- new and established clientele. The economy changed, stock market crashed, election, change, change, change, fear, fear, fear . . . . Everything changed!

I thought I had began to pray but really I think I was just "complaining" and "whining" to God. James and I agreed at the very beginning of "my business" 7 years ago, it had to sustain itself. James had told me that I cannot pull monies from household finances. So, for 7 years, I have never had to go to James and say, "I can't pay my taxes or my lease." I give God the praise for that. I still give God the praise for that.

So, since October, probably about a week before the elections, everything changed for my business. It seemed to be a struggle every week. I had moved my business to Burleson from an area in Fort Worth just over two years ago. I attributed some of the loss to the move and people not wanting to use extra gas. However, I had picked up new clients from the Burleson area. So, why was I struggling so much?

Yesterday, at the end of the service, Pastor asked us to get out our wallets. Being the obedient Saint that I am (don't laugh -- about the "obedient" part anyway), I got out my wallet. He asked us to get out whatever money we had. I really thought he was going to tell us to give whatever we had. I had 2 $1 bills. He instructed us to check our neighbors and if they needed something to hold, give them a dollar. I looked over to give my daughter in law a dollar and was going to look for change for my grandson. They were each holding a debit card so I kept my 2 dollars. He asked us to look at it and commit it to God. It is God's money. He is just letting me use it. Everything I have is God's and I am to ask Him what to do with it. I looked at my 2 dollar bills and I saw "my business" right there in my hands. It's not my business -- it's God's business. God spoke to me so clearly something that had been in the recesses of my mind all week. WHY did I get into this business to begin with? Eight years ago, God spoke to me that He was taking my ministry outside the 4 walls of the church. I had no idea what that meant. I knew I didn't want to go to Africa and I knew I did not feel called to street ministry. I went back and forth with God: "but I sing", "but I teach", "but I speak" . . . God was silent.

My business is God's business and it is NOT a business -- it is THE ministry outside the 4 walls of the church He called me to. Trust me, I do not preach at you when you are in my chair. Sometimes I just listen to you, pray for you, pray with you, touch you, love you, be awakened in the night to pray for you, and, sometimes we just laugh. I am blessed to be with some of the most precious young women I could ever hope to work with. My clients love them as much as they love me. These young women minister to me and teach me. They love me and I feel their love. God placed me with them for a reason. My clients are more than paying customers, they are my friends -- I have a relationship with them. THAT is what God called me to do with my life "for such a time as this".

My friend and Mentor, Victoria, told me once when I was complaining about too many midnight hour experiences; "Karen, embrace the midnight hour because at the midnight hour you KNOW it is God. That is when He truly becomes Jehovah Jireh, YOUR Provider, because no one else can provide. Embrace them because when you stop having them you will miss them.". (Hmmmmm and a heavy sigh.) I did not understand it at all and I thought "Well, now that's an encouraging Word" (dripping with sarcasm and confusion).

I have, indeed, missed the midnight hour. He is giving them to me again and I will embrace them. I will know that it is God who is my Provider. It is NOT man. Economy cannot hold back the goodness of God and His provision. HE IS MY PORTION.

So, as I held my two dollars and Pastor prayed over us, I truly released everything I have and will have, to God. It was a God Moment that will forever change my life and my stinking thinking. I will forever keep these two dollar bills to remind me that it is God's money and I am to do with it as He instructs. (That is, of course, unless God instructs me to GIVE these two dollars bills to someone.)

"Father, in the name of Jesus, I thank You today, that I will no longer fret and worry. You have redeemed me by the precious blood of Jesus. It is YOU that comes through for me at the midnight hour. You are my "AND SUDDENLY". You have made me a royal Priesthood. You have called me into Your marvelous light. You have set me apart and called me to do Your Works. I will answer Your call and I will commit it all to You to do with it as You will. You are the Lifter of my Head and the Lover of my soul. My righteousness is in You and the righteous will never be forsaken and my children will never beg for bread. The blessing You have placed on me will be for my children and my children's children. Bless them as You have me. Teach them stewardship as You have me. Teach them that all they have is Yours. Lord, bless my readers today and give them hope. Our hope is in You and only You. You are our reward. Bless me that I may bless. Teach me that I may teach. Love me that I may love. Today, I know for sure, YOU ARE MY PORTION. Amen."

Psalm 119:57 (NIV)

You are my portion, O Lord; I have promised to obey Your words.