Your Beloved

There is not one of us who has not been attacked verbally by another person. There is not one of us who has not attacked another person verbally. We do it. They do it. It hurts. It hurts to the very core of our being. When you are attacked it depletes you of any joy. A spirit of retaliation rises up and you immediately go into the mode of "I should have said this . . . I wish I would have said this . . . well, who does she think she is, has she forgotten, blah, blah, blah." Well, the point is, when we are attacked, we need to keep our mouths shut. I tend to go into pout mode and that is not a healthy place to be. Where I need to go is to Jesus. This week I have gone to the throne of God and thrown it all on Him. God is dealing with me so much on my mouth and even on my fingers -- emails are still verbal abuse. Emails are silent arrows that hit you right in the heart. They are silent and yet they SCREAM at you because, depending on your mood when you read it, you hear what you feel.

I have made so many mistakes in my life. Some I choose to forget because God delivered me from that life style. Some mistakes have been wonderful life lessons. I have made mistakes that some cannot forgive me for. I have asked forgiveness but I do not feel release. What else can I do? I continue to offend because I have never been forgiven. There is one person in my life that I had to fall on my face and BEG God to help me forgive. This person did not deserve to be forgiven, did not even ask to be forgiven. God SAID I had to forgive and I did. I treasure that forgiveness and I protect that forgiveness. Unforgiveness is ugly and it breeds bitterness. Bitterness will bring you into the loneliest life you can imagine. I do not want to die a bitter old woman.

Attacks will continue to happen. Life happens. Jobs will be lost. Loved ones will die. Financial situations will devastate. Gas prices will change all of us. War will still happen. Friends turn on us. Attack after attack. The enemy roams around not just trying to attack us but to DEVOUR us.

What do we do? We run to our Father. Our Father who told us He would never leave us nor forsake us. I found a treasure today in His Word:

If the Lord had not been on our side

when men attacked us,

then they would have swallowed us alive.

Psalm 124:2-3 (HCSB)

Lord, in the name of Jesus, I ask You today to be with me and be on my side. When I am attacked, protect me. Help me to never be the attacker. Give me wisdom. Change my heart. Give me a teachable spirit. I love You, my precious Lord. I need You. I need to feel Your arms around me. I need to see You in front of me and I need to know You are behind me. I know You are because You have promised me in Your Word You will never leave me and You will never forsake me. I know WHO YOU ARE but I know WHO I AM -- I am Yours -- Your Beloved. Amen.