Weapon of Mass Destruction

It's almost over. Yep! 2008 is just about gone and I don't know where it went. It causes me to reflect. What did I do wrong? What could I have done instead? Who did I miss? What did I miss? Did I do enough? Did I do too much? Did I say enough? Did I say too much? Did I love enough? Did I love too much? Did I pray enough? I know I didn't pray too much? Did I spend enough time in the Word?

To almost all of the questions my answer is "I do not know". The only ones I know the answer to for sure is that I did not pray enough and I did not spend enough time in God's Word.

Every year at this time we begin to resolve what we need to change for the upcoming year. There have been many changes in my life in 2008. For one thing, I turned 50. I am so OK with being 50. I am happy where I am but I am not happy where people in my life are. What can I do to change that? Can I even change it? I have reached my resolution: Let go and let God. I must take my hands off the things that God has to do. The only help He needs from me is for me to do just that: Let go!

Letting go is painful. As a mother, no matter the age of your children, you think it's all your fault if things are not good for them. You, as a mother, want to fix them and make them happy. So, why is it that I don't think my Heavenly Father wants to do the same for me?

November and December have been particularly hard for me. I made a commitment to do something. I stood strong. I did exactly what I commited to God that I would do. The very thing I have "given to God" is causing me pain. What is He birthing in me? What is He changing in me?

God has given me His Word today. It may be JUST for me but I believe someone reading this needs this too:

2 Cor 10:3 - 6 (NIV)
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. And we will be ready to punish every act of disobedience, once your obedience is complete.

In Nehemiah 4, it talks about the opposition of the rebuilding. In verse 17 it says this: Those who carried materials did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other, and each of the builders wore his sword at his side as he worked. Back in chapter 2 we learn that Nehemiah knew the hand of his God was good and it was upon him (verse 18). Later in the verse "they strengthened their hands for this good work".

Sometimes I do not feel that my hands have enough strength to hold the weapon, to hold my sword, not to mention USE them. Where does my strength come from? I know the answer to that one. It brings me to my favorite scripture in Nehemiah.

Nehemiah 8:10: . . . for the joy of the Lord is my strength.

Oh, my precious Lord, give me YOUR joy that I may stand strong. Give me strength to hold a weapon in one hand and work with the other. Help me to build that wall, with YOU as the Contractor. I know the weapons You give me are divine and they will demolish strongholds. Lord, take captive all my thoughts that they would be obedient to You. Let my obedience be complete in You.

I am reminded of a story I have heard and even used in past blogs. It is time for YOUR participation. Say "happy". You just feel that word in your mouth. Say "JOY". Did you feel it? It comes from a deeper place. Do it again. HAPPY. . .JOY. Happy is superficial. It happens in the moment and is fleeting. JOY comes from deep within and you have it even when you are not happy. I am done with superficial. I want JOY. I want HIS JOY.

I believe the Lord has equipped us with weapons of mass destruction. We know exactly where they are even if George W. never found them. The weapon of mass destruction is HIS JOY. I can build that wall. I can have strong hands. I can demolish strongholds and take captive my thoughts.

2009 will be quite different for me. I am trading my sorrows, I am trading my pain. I am trading my sickness and my shame. I will lay them down for the JOY OF THE LORD because that is my weapon of mass destruction.